wanneer ben je en echte tuning freak
Moderator: Moderators
wanneer ben je en echte tuning freak
- Als je huwelijkslijst vol staat met tuningonderdelen
- Als je aan je wagen meer geld besteed dan dat je verdiend
- Als men u erkend bij de kleur van je wagen
- Als je met al uw originele stukken een tweede auto kunt maken
- Als je vriendin haar borsten moet vasthouden als je op klinkers rijdt
- Als je bij uw oma de oprit niet meer op kunt
- Als je alle vluchtheuvels van Nederland weet te liggen
- Als je buren klagen voor overdreven nachtlawaai
- Als je op de autokeuring gewoon niet eens binnen kunt
- Als je eigen merk-garagist niet meer ziet met welk model je rijd
- Als je het plafond van je huis verlaagd, de ramen zwart laat coaten en de gasmeter opvoert.
- Als je huisdier op wielen door het leven gaat i.p.v. 4 poten
- Als je geen dollar-tekens in je ogen ziet , maar velgen.
- Als je computer-opstart-geluidje klinkt als: VROAAAR
- Als je een 2e hypotheek afsluit alleen voor spoilers etc.
- Als je een vakantie-huisje koopt voor je auto
- Als je bij je vriendin alleen maar wilt : tieten-tunen
- Als je geiler word van je auto dan van je vriendin
- Als je iedereen onder het merk en type auto in plaats van naam in je gsm staat opgeslagen.
- Als je een foto van je auto op je nachtkastje hebt staan in plaats van je vriendin
- Als je 26 verschillende tankpasjes hebt
- Als je denkt dat een jaguar alleen maar een auto is
- Als je een koelkast geïnstalleerd hebt in je wagen
- Als je thuis ipv stoelen en banken autointerieurs hebt om op te zitten
- Als je thuis een salontafel hebt gemaakt van een velg
- Als je opzoek bent naar een huis, alleen maar kijkt of er een grote garage bij zit, rest boeit niet
- Als je bij een goeie crash alleen aan je auto denkt en niet aan je vriendin/vrouw
- Als je bij kennismaking met je nieuwe vriendin meteen vraagt of er drempels bij haar in de straat liggen
- Als je bij een te hoge drempel je vriendin laat uitstappen
- Als je je vriendin de hele wijk door laat lopen om haar op te halen omdat je de straat niet inkan
- Je 's avonds niet bij je vriendin blijft slapen als ze geen garage heeft
- Als je rotondes alleen ziet als driftobjecten
- Als je de keuring ziet als examen
- Als je een tuningshop als mekka ziet
- Als je het tuning-gebed iedere avond opzegt
- Als je afstanden alleen maar kunt uitdrukken in gemiddelde snelheden
- Als je ieder stoplicht ziet als een dragrace-paal
- Als je iedere andere auto op de weg als tegenstander ziet die je moet inhalen
- Als de Nürburgring/Nordschleife Lourdes voor je is
- Als je tijdens de sex motorgeluiden maakt, en bij het klaarkomen "Tsssschjjjj" roept...
staan een paar hele mooie tussen de laatste helemaal
- Als je aan je wagen meer geld besteed dan dat je verdiend
- Als men u erkend bij de kleur van je wagen
- Als je met al uw originele stukken een tweede auto kunt maken
- Als je vriendin haar borsten moet vasthouden als je op klinkers rijdt
- Als je bij uw oma de oprit niet meer op kunt
- Als je alle vluchtheuvels van Nederland weet te liggen
- Als je buren klagen voor overdreven nachtlawaai
- Als je op de autokeuring gewoon niet eens binnen kunt
- Als je eigen merk-garagist niet meer ziet met welk model je rijd
- Als je het plafond van je huis verlaagd, de ramen zwart laat coaten en de gasmeter opvoert.
- Als je huisdier op wielen door het leven gaat i.p.v. 4 poten
- Als je geen dollar-tekens in je ogen ziet , maar velgen.
- Als je computer-opstart-geluidje klinkt als: VROAAAR
- Als je een 2e hypotheek afsluit alleen voor spoilers etc.
- Als je een vakantie-huisje koopt voor je auto
- Als je bij je vriendin alleen maar wilt : tieten-tunen
- Als je geiler word van je auto dan van je vriendin
- Als je iedereen onder het merk en type auto in plaats van naam in je gsm staat opgeslagen.
- Als je een foto van je auto op je nachtkastje hebt staan in plaats van je vriendin
- Als je 26 verschillende tankpasjes hebt
- Als je denkt dat een jaguar alleen maar een auto is
- Als je een koelkast geïnstalleerd hebt in je wagen
- Als je thuis ipv stoelen en banken autointerieurs hebt om op te zitten
- Als je thuis een salontafel hebt gemaakt van een velg
- Als je opzoek bent naar een huis, alleen maar kijkt of er een grote garage bij zit, rest boeit niet
- Als je bij een goeie crash alleen aan je auto denkt en niet aan je vriendin/vrouw
- Als je bij kennismaking met je nieuwe vriendin meteen vraagt of er drempels bij haar in de straat liggen
- Als je bij een te hoge drempel je vriendin laat uitstappen
- Als je je vriendin de hele wijk door laat lopen om haar op te halen omdat je de straat niet inkan
- Je 's avonds niet bij je vriendin blijft slapen als ze geen garage heeft
- Als je rotondes alleen ziet als driftobjecten
- Als je de keuring ziet als examen
- Als je een tuningshop als mekka ziet
- Als je het tuning-gebed iedere avond opzegt
- Als je afstanden alleen maar kunt uitdrukken in gemiddelde snelheden
- Als je ieder stoplicht ziet als een dragrace-paal
- Als je iedere andere auto op de weg als tegenstander ziet die je moet inhalen
- Als de Nürburgring/Nordschleife Lourdes voor je is
- Als je tijdens de sex motorgeluiden maakt, en bij het klaarkomen "Tsssschjjjj" roept...
staan een paar hele mooie tussen de laatste helemaal
- turbulence
- Super-Pilot
- Berichten: 5868
- Lid geworden op: 14 aug 2004, 00:03
- Locatie: Wolvega (fryslan)
- Contacteer:
nog toevoeging ( wel in engels)
The exhaust emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull into their bay.
Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
You are afraid to drive your car.
Your 'significant other' refuses to even ride in your car.
You spend more on tyres than on food.
Your local council decides not to re-pave your street with that new rubberised tarmac because you've already 'done such a good job.'
You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
Your insurance company had to create a whole new table to cover you and your vehicle.
You have ever argued with your wife over making the mortgage payment or buying that new set of extractors while they're still on sale.
Your local city council has passed a law making it illegal for you to even enter a school-zone unless you are on foot.
Traffic advisories are issued over the radio whenever your car is spotted during rush-hour.
You have to go to the race track to buy petrol.
Your mechanic names the new extension to his workshop after you.
You have speed shops on your telephone and mobile speed-dial.
You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.
You refer to the intersection at the end of your street as turn # 1.
You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 60 zone but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the bonnet."
News footage of cops chasing you is used as a training video at your local police academy.
You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run.
Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.
You need parachute braking.
There is no possible way to "sneak out of your neighbourhood at 6 am.
Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened.
Fuel is delivered to your home in 55 gallon drums.
You wear earplugs in your car.
You find out that stock side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 235 km/h.
Your exhaust pipes are a larger diameter than your leg.
Your fuel pump can be used to water a golf course.
Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
You measure the fuel you use in litres per kilometre".
The local airport complains about the noise coming from your garage on Saturdays.
The fire department has ever showed up at your house because alarmed neighbours reported smoke billowing from your garage.
You consider ABS and traction control as options for the 'driving impaired.'
You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
You feel compelled, on a road trip, to beat your previous best time.
You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing depth and the wear bars are showing.
When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
When you hear 'overcooked it, instead of food you think off the track.
You change engine oil every other week.
You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.
Your racing budget is one of the big three -- mortgage, car payments / maintenance, girls.
Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you.
You've paid £2.00 a litre for petrol without complaining.
You buy new parts because you can't remember where you put the spares.
You bought a race car before buying a house.
You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbours are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of race tyres that could have been purchased.
You sit in your car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.
Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
You have enough spare parts at home to build another car.
More than one parts supplier recognises your voice and greets you by name when you phone.
You have car parts at work.
You're registered for wedding gifts at Auto Parts and Racing Wholesale outlets.
Your Christmas list begins with "another set of GB 411-154s and Pauter rods, and your 'significant other' knows what they are.
You have a separate drawer for garage clothes'.
The reading material in your bathroom consists of auto parts and racing supply catalogues, several books written by famous drivers, and 400 car magazines, none of which have centrefolds.
You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name.
Your first date with a new girl is asking her to crew for you.
Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto repair skills. Air tools optional.
Your family remembers, your hair colour as ìgrease" or "oil-coloured".
You plan Your wedding around the shows, swapmeets and race schedules.
You astound the manager at Volkspares by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every other week or so.
You remember the reg numbers and detailed engine specs of every car you've ever owned, but can't remember your phone number.
Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you.
A neighbour asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or mineral?" and they reply, "No, sunflower or olive."
You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.
You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.
Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.
You always do a toe & heel downshift while whoever might be your passenger gives you a real funny look.
You can't stand understeer.
You always want to change something in your daily driver street car to make it handle better.
You've ever tried to convince your wife you needed that flow bench to fix the air filter on her station wagon.
You save broken car parts as "mementos".
Your last several motorway forays included just brushing the curbs as you apexed the on-ramps perfectly.
You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but doesn't particularly care for alcohol).
The local tire shop won't honour the tread life warranty on any car you have been within 50 yards of
The shop manager at your local car dealer mutters 'Dear Lord" under his breath after he sees the size of your exhaust piping.
The local police and Highway Patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.
You spend more time polishing your exhaust tip every day than you do showering.
Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have timeslips.
You would choose a rollbar over air conditioning if it were an option.
You enjoy driving through wet, empty parking lots and using the emergency brake to kick the back end out.
White smoke coming out from under your tyres is a common sight.
You consider the redline a "conservative suggestion" and the rev limiter "a fun limiter"
Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal final drive ratio for given situations.
When someone refers to ìThe Good Book", you think of the Gene Berg catalogue.
You own five cars and only one of them is street legal.
You know the 1/4 mile times and skid, pad numbers of your riding mower and want to improve them.
You've embarrassed your significant other at least once by insisting on wearing your full face helmet while driving.
You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute, including your alternate routes, and practice hitting them every day.
You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles.
You regularly live test your rev limiter on that straight that's a little too long for 2nd but not worth going into 3rd for.
You've started looking for sponsors for your daily commute.
After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on your holiday she answers: 'Why... is there a race there?"
The exhaust emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as you pull into their bay.
Your 'significant other' is afraid to drive your car.
You are afraid to drive your car.
Your 'significant other' refuses to even ride in your car.
You spend more on tyres than on food.
Your local council decides not to re-pave your street with that new rubberised tarmac because you've already 'done such a good job.'
You spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
Your insurance company had to create a whole new table to cover you and your vehicle.
You have ever argued with your wife over making the mortgage payment or buying that new set of extractors while they're still on sale.
Your local city council has passed a law making it illegal for you to even enter a school-zone unless you are on foot.
Traffic advisories are issued over the radio whenever your car is spotted during rush-hour.
You have to go to the race track to buy petrol.
Your mechanic names the new extension to his workshop after you.
You have speed shops on your telephone and mobile speed-dial.
You're tempted to wear your fire suit just to drive to the office.
You refer to the intersection at the end of your street as turn # 1.
You get pulled over for doing 155 in a 60 zone but the cops will let you go if "they can look under the bonnet."
News footage of cops chasing you is used as a training video at your local police academy.
You get an anonymous phone call asking if you are interested in being in the Cannonball Run.
Your face looks like you are riding a NASA centrifuge when you drive the car.
You need parachute braking.
There is no possible way to "sneak out of your neighbourhood at 6 am.
Your pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened.
Fuel is delivered to your home in 55 gallon drums.
You wear earplugs in your car.
You find out that stock side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 235 km/h.
Your exhaust pipes are a larger diameter than your leg.
Your fuel pump can be used to water a golf course.
Your engine idles at 2800 rpm.
You measure the fuel you use in litres per kilometre".
The local airport complains about the noise coming from your garage on Saturdays.
The fire department has ever showed up at your house because alarmed neighbours reported smoke billowing from your garage.
You consider ABS and traction control as options for the 'driving impaired.'
You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
You feel compelled, on a road trip, to beat your previous best time.
You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing depth and the wear bars are showing.
When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
When you hear 'overcooked it, instead of food you think off the track.
You change engine oil every other week.
You sometimes hear little noises from your passengers when you get on the throttle right after turning in.
Your racing budget is one of the big three -- mortgage, car payments / maintenance, girls.
Your email address refers to your race car rather than to you.
You've paid £2.00 a litre for petrol without complaining.
You buy new parts because you can't remember where you put the spares.
You bought a race car before buying a house.
You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbours are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of race tyres that could have been purchased.
You sit in your car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.
Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
You have enough spare parts at home to build another car.
More than one parts supplier recognises your voice and greets you by name when you phone.
You have car parts at work.
You're registered for wedding gifts at Auto Parts and Racing Wholesale outlets.
Your Christmas list begins with "another set of GB 411-154s and Pauter rods, and your 'significant other' knows what they are.
You have a separate drawer for garage clothes'.
The reading material in your bathroom consists of auto parts and racing supply catalogues, several books written by famous drivers, and 400 car magazines, none of which have centrefolds.
You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's name.
Your first date with a new girl is asking her to crew for you.
Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto repair skills. Air tools optional.
Your family remembers, your hair colour as ìgrease" or "oil-coloured".
You plan Your wedding around the shows, swapmeets and race schedules.
You astound the manager at Volkspares by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every other week or so.
You remember the reg numbers and detailed engine specs of every car you've ever owned, but can't remember your phone number.
Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time with you.
A neighbour asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or mineral?" and they reply, "No, sunflower or olive."
You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.
You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming out.
Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn.
You always do a toe & heel downshift while whoever might be your passenger gives you a real funny look.
You can't stand understeer.
You always want to change something in your daily driver street car to make it handle better.
You've ever tried to convince your wife you needed that flow bench to fix the air filter on her station wagon.
You save broken car parts as "mementos".
Your last several motorway forays included just brushing the curbs as you apexed the on-ramps perfectly.
You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but doesn't particularly care for alcohol).
The local tire shop won't honour the tread life warranty on any car you have been within 50 yards of
The shop manager at your local car dealer mutters 'Dear Lord" under his breath after he sees the size of your exhaust piping.
The local police and Highway Patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.
You spend more time polishing your exhaust tip every day than you do showering.
Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have timeslips.
You would choose a rollbar over air conditioning if it were an option.
You enjoy driving through wet, empty parking lots and using the emergency brake to kick the back end out.
White smoke coming out from under your tyres is a common sight.
You consider the redline a "conservative suggestion" and the rev limiter "a fun limiter"
Your idea of a good time is sitting around figuring out gear ratios and the ideal final drive ratio for given situations.
When someone refers to ìThe Good Book", you think of the Gene Berg catalogue.
You own five cars and only one of them is street legal.
You know the 1/4 mile times and skid, pad numbers of your riding mower and want to improve them.
You've embarrassed your significant other at least once by insisting on wearing your full face helmet while driving.
You know the "racing line" of every turn in your daily commute, including your alternate routes, and practice hitting them every day.
You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles.
You regularly live test your rev limiter on that straight that's a little too long for 2nd but not worth going into 3rd for.
You've started looking for sponsors for your daily commute.
After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on your holiday she answers: 'Why... is there a race there?"
Ervaring is de naam voor de optelsom van onze fouten
- WhiteFinish
- Supporting Member
- Berichten: 6833
- Lid geworden op: 01 jan 2005, 19:32
- Type Mazda: Mazda MX-3 2.5i V6
- Bouwjaar: 1991
- Locatie: Abcoude
- Contacteer: